well, I went ahead and did it....

[TR0N]

Played both of them in the arcade and loved them, I beat the Sega CD version of 1 also.  I've been looking for an arcade perfect port of #2 for years, but nothing has been good enough.

I've herd the "Philips CDI" version of dragons lair is supose to be perfect.

Try that or get it on, laser disc and build your own cab.

[esteban]

Oh and on a totally unrelated note, Stevek666 remember your Esteban name from Famiconsumer and the old Turbo board on gamefaqs?  You wouldn't have happened to get that from that ultra cheesy guitar guy that has infomercials for his crappy acoustic guitar and video would you?  I love that guy, he had this awesome christmas infomercial where he used the guitar he was selling to play a christmas carol and then F'd up like 5 times, plus tried to use a band to drown out the horrible sound of the cheap guitar.  It was honestly one of the funniest infomercials I have ever seen (and I've seen a ton, I have a strange fascination with them), I wish I would have taped it.

HAHHAHAHAHA!  Unfortunately, my "Esteban" is from high school spanish class, not the fabulous guitarist.  I DID SEE ESTEBAN's infomerical and found it hilarious.  But I didn't watch the whole thing... because I don't remember the christmas carols!

I am with you and Keranu: informercials are a wonderful source of entertainment. I totally agree about the desire to tape infomercials: after a few years, you KNOW you'd love to watch them again! More on this later...

GUTS you beat me to that! I have seen those informations a two/three times as well and was wondering if that's where Steve got his Esteban name from! That's pretty hilarious that I wasn't the only one who thought of the infomercials. By the way, I love infomercials as well and I actually purposely look for them at night sometimes. I remember you told me once that you also saw that classic rock CD package hosted by Roger Daltry, which was AWESOME.

Oh man, what was Daltry doing hocking CD's? Goddam.

[esteban]

Haha yeah that one rules, Daltry and some hot chick looking 10 times stupid selling those cds.

My favorites though that I could watch all day are Tony Little (f*cking hilarious) and the fat fingered chef Tony that sells those shitty knifes.  Man I've seen the Tony Little infomercial like 100 times and it still rules, the best part is where he's at that girl's house and he's wearing a god damn long necked SWEATER with his hair all permed and flowing free.

Oh and have you seen that one dude that is on about 4-5 of those fake "talk show" infomercials?  He usually plays the host like on "Mike & Matty in the morning" I think it was called.  I googled that bastard one time and turns out he's banned from doing them in the UK and he's actually done jail time for swindeling people.

*EDIT* and how could I forget the TWIN MIDGETS selling real estate secrets!!  The first time I saw that one it was about 2 in the morning, I couldn't believe my eyes so I called a couple friends and told them to turn on the tv.  They were all pissed at first, then I'd hear the tv come on, a few moments of searching, then "WTF!!!".  It was a surreal moment, I loved it, I still love watching that one when its on.

GUTS, you friggin' rule! I love Tony Little and Chef Tony!  I'm pretty sick of TL at this point, so Chef Tony is my current infomerical celebrity. He's "starred" in a bunch of infomercials for  different products... here we go (i'm hazy on the first two, i'm pretty sure chef tony did them):

0. a stupid "grill pan" that you put on the stovetop... to "grill" like a BBQ (there's NO WAY that works... at best it puts scorch lines on the food like a grill, and that's it)

0. some stupid "teflon" cake molds or cookie cutters or something.
1. the mini chopper (a classic!)
2. the knives you mentioned

FAKE TALK SHOW: Yeah, I've seen the fake talk show format used for a SPEED READING COURSE... can't remember what else... but the host has short, straight brown hair and can mesmerize you with his eyes! I'm serious, he's not good looking or anything, but his EYES -- something about them.

I'VE NEVER SEEN THE MIDGETS selling real estate. Jesus, you've got to tape this so I can see it.

[esteban]

I love how they say within just 30 seconds you can make a full fettucini dish, but of course they didn't mention that you have to boil the noodles which would take long 5-10 minutes, hahaha. I kind of wish I had a Magic Bullet because it might be useful for some things, but I remember the price being totally outrageous, like $90 or something. Certainly not your typical $19.95 item. The funniest part is when they show that you can use the color coded tops to identify who's margarita is who's!

"And in one <press>, two <press>, three <press> seconds you have gourme guacamole!"

The Magic Bullet infomercial -- this was released shortly after Chef Tony's "Mini Chopper" product appeared, but Magic Bullet was even smaller!  

Keranu, at my parties, all my guests used to get upset because they would inevitably mix up their drinks. Having color-coded glasses has solved this dilemma and now my parties are a success!

[Keranu]

Hahaha,

...and now my parties are a success!

Hahahaha, that's so hilarious. That sounds like something a person would totally say on a infomercial!

I recently watched the Magic Bullet infomercial a couple nights ago all the way through. I can't get enough of that and always laugh at it! It's one of my all time favorite infomercials! This thread is getting me hungry to search for some good infomercials tonight. I've been hoping that the Daltry one would come on again because Roger Daltry just plain rules!

Not to go competely off topic here, but I've heard of a couple stories of Daltry taking out people in one hit. I read once that Keith Moon was taking some drugs or something as usual and Daltry couldn't stand it so he punched Moon just once really hard and he was knocked out unconscious. Another time was when Pete Townshend and Roger Daltry were arguing and Townshend smashed a guitar over the back of Daltry's head and then Daltry kicked Townshend really hard just once and Townshend fell over unconscious. Roger Daltry rules, haha.

[GUTS]

Haha man I wish you guys could see the midgets so bad, I don't even have a VCR anymore though.  I know you guys would appreciate it.

The guy I was talking about that does the fake talk shows is hocking a "cure all" book now that's supposedly full of herbal remedies to everything from aids to colds.  He says it's full of stuff the drug companies don't want you to know because they're not interesting in curing disease, only making money off the pills!  It's f*cking brilliant, everybody already thinks that anyway but he takes it one step further by claiming that all these cures already exist and he's got em!  I love that guy.

Steve I'm sorry you OD'd on Tony Little, I still love that guy.  I have an autographed picture of him up on my wall that I bought on his website for like $3 shipped, it's fookin AWESOME.

[esteban]

Haha man I wish you guys could see the midgets so bad, I don't even have a VCR anymore though.  I know you guys would appreciate it.

OK, well I'll have to keep an eye out for it, maybe it's still being aired in my area. I can't believe I haven't seen it.

The guy I was talking about that does the fake talk shows is hocking a "cure all" book now that's supposedly full of herbal remedies to everything from aids to colds.  He says it's full of stuff the drug companies don't want you to know because they're not interesting in curing disease, only making money off the pills!  It's f*cking brilliant, everybody already thinks that anyway but he takes it one step further by claiming that all these cures already exist and he's got em!  I love that guy.

Hahahahahaha.

Steve I'm sorry you OD'd on Tony Little, I still love that guy.  I have an autographed picture of him up on my wall that I bought on his website for like $3 shipped, it's fookin AWESOME.

Yeah, he's been on the air a LONG time now.  Only good old Ron has been on longer, methinks. Tony does QVC and HSN (or at least he used to)... so he had a lot of exposure and is probably doing pretty well for himself.

That said, I would treasure an autographed picture of Tony Little .

I don't know about you guys, but after watching most infomercials, I usually say to myself, "You know, I could probably use one of those." I'm not kidding.... even stupid things like an omellette mold: I don't even eat eggs and I wanted it!  WTF??!!

ALL-TIME BEST INFOMERCIAL: The Grillerie (predecessor to the Foreman Grill) starring the late, great RICARDO MONTALBAN.  My friend still has half of this infomercial on tape, I think.  It was truly amazing... Picture Ricardo stirring baked beans in a big, thick, crusty, iron pot over an open flame and saying... "The Grillerie captures the essence of cowboys cooking on the open range" or something equally insane.  Note that the Grillerie is simply an electric hotplate.  My friend noticed that when Ricardo "tastes" the pineapple upside-down cake made in the Grillerie, he doesn't actually put it in his mouth, yet he boldly proclaims, "But Nancy, this is DEEEE LISH USSSSSS !!!!"

This is an old infomercial (1995?)... by 1998 they were no longer being sold, but we watched the tape and got so excited that my friend bought one off of ebay!

[GUTS]

I don't know about you guys, but after watching most infomercials, I usually say to myself, "You know, I could probably use one of those." I'm not kidding.... even stupid things like an omellette mold: I don't even eat eggs and I wanted it!  WTF??!!

HAH I know man!  You don't know how many times I've come THIS close to ordering the magic bullet or a bowflex!  Hell even the Riddler guy had me almost buying his stupid book on goverment grants one time.

ALL-TIME BEST INFOMERCIAL: The Grillerie (predecessor to the Foreman Grill) starring the late, great RICARDO MONTALBAN.  My friend still has half of this infomercial on tape, I think.  It was truly amazing... Picture Ricardo stirring baked beans in a big, thick, crusty, iron pot over an open flame and saying... "The Grillerie captures the essence of cowboys cooking on the open range" or something equally insane.  Note that the Grillerie is simply an electric hotplate.  My friend noticed that when Ricardo "tastes" the pineapple upside-down cake made in the Grillerie, he doesn't actually put it in his mouth, yet he boldly proclaims, "But Nancy, this is DEEEE LISH USSSSSS !!!!"

Oh man I don't remember that one, I don't think I was really into infomercials back in 95, my weird TV addiction back then was (and still is) cooking shows on PBS (or cable now, only had PBS back then).

Have either of you guys ever watched The Jamie Kennedy Experiment?  Well there's this awesome episode where he fakes being a guy hocking a blender on an informercial in front of a studio audience (they think it's real).  The blender shorts out and burns Jamie (fake, but the audience thinks it's real), and then not 10 minutes later he pays random people in the croud $20 to talk about how safe it is in front of the camera!  The best is one older lady says "it's so safe I let my children use it all the time".  It totally reminded me of how you can't believe a word that's said on real informercials, people will do anything for a measly $20!

[esteban]

HAH I know man!  You don't know how many times I've come THIS close to ordering the magic bullet or a bowflex!  Hell even the Riddler guy had me almost buying his stupid book on goverment grants one time.

OK, I'll confess -- I actually went to the library to see if they had the "FREE MONEY" book (I remember telling the librarian "On the commericial this guys wearing a jacket plastered with dollar signs...").

The library had it! The book simply regurgitates all the info you'd find in a few dozen government pamphlets on grants, financial aid, loans, etc. for students, folks starting up a business, etc.

Oh man I don't remember that one, I don't think I was really into infomercials back in 95, my weird TV addiction back then was (and still is) cooking shows on PBS (or cable now, only had PBS back then).

I loved watching Julia Child, The Cajun Chef, Yan Can Cook, the Frugal Gourmet...

Have either of you guys ever watched The Jamie Kennedy Experiment?  Well there's this awesome episode where he fakes being a guy hocking a blender on an informercial in front of a studio audience (they think it's real).  The blender shorts out and burns Jamie (fake, but the audience thinks it's real), and then not 10 minutes later he pays random people in the croud $20 to talk about how safe it is in front of the camera!  The best is one older lady says "it's so safe I let my children use it all the time".  It totally reminded me of how you can't believe a word that's said on real informercials, people will do anything for a measly $20!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaa. hahahahahahaa. That's beautiful. I wish I saw that.  I've only seen a few episodes, but they were all quite enjoyable and usually very creative. One of my favorites had Jamie pretending to be an agent for prospective child actors... He tells a Mom that he will represent her son, but that her son (5 years old) will need some PLASTIC SURGERY.  The mom is so desperate to have her son get into acting that she SIGNS A CONTRACT even though Jamie is saying "You agree to allow your son to get surgery".... INSANITY!

[GUTS]

The library had it! The book simply regurgitates all the info you'd find in a few dozen government pamphlets on grants, financial aid, loans, etc. for students, folks starting up a business, etc.

Haha dude I never thought of doing that, that's genius.  I figured as much though about the book, looking around online myself didn't really yield anything even remotely like he was promising.

I loved watching Julia Child, The Cajun Chef, Yan Can Cook, the Frugal Gourmet...

Classics!  The Frugal Gourmet especially was awesome since he'd always be visiting some exotic place at the beginning of the episode so it was like a travel guide AND cooking show in one.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaa. hahahahahahaa. That's beautiful. I wish I saw that.  I've only seen a few episodes, but they were all quite enjoyable and usually very creative. One of my favorites had Jamie pretending to be an agent for prospective child actors... He tells a Mom that he will represent her son, but that her son (5 years old) will need some PLASTIC SURGERY.  The mom is so desperate to have her son get into acting that she SIGNS A CONTRACT even though Jamie is saying "You agree to allow your son to get surgery".... INSANITY!

Haha awesome I don't think I've seen that one, I buy the seasons on DVD but I just have the first two (they're only like $20 new, it's a steal).  Man they come up with some awesome ways to make people make asses of themselves, it's incredible.  They should use that show in psych classes as  a study of what people will do for money.

[Keranu]

All the infomercial stuff you guys mentioned are awesome and I believe I have seen one or three of the ones mentioned.

After reading Steve's post about Ricardo fake eating the pineapple upside-down cake, it reminded me of a infomercial that was on for quite some time... the vegetable juicer with that crazy old man! That guy had some crazy eyes and eye brows and always looked pissed off. There was a part on the infomercial where it has this family of three (father, mother, and a son) that have just prepared some carrot juice with the blender and the commercial is saying how the whole family will love the taste and how it's nutritious. Anyways if you look at the kid while they are drinking the carrot juice, the kid takes a sip and right after that you can clearly see the kid making this face like it was totally disgusting! I was laughing so hard when I first saw that with my brother and would watch the repeat of it over and over.