Weird job interview questions and how not to answer them.

[Tablet]

I came across this article the other day about weird job interview questions and some of the responses, needless to say some of the answers had me in stitches. I've pasted the 19 from the article below. I think the weirdest question I was ever asked in an interview was 'If you were an animal, what animal would you be?' to which I replied 'Human.'

1. What's the best email address you've ever seen and why? (Proud PR)
"Without a shadow of a doubt, DrReginaldHunterESQ@thenigerianlottery.tv -- I couldn't believe my luck the day his email dropped into my inbox with the news I'd won £1 billion African super-dollars."

2. Sell me my mug... (Ventura)
"I don't need to sell you your mug Sir -- you already own it."

3. How many golf balls are in the air around the world right now? (Yahoo)
"How many golf courses are there in the waking world? 70,000? Times that by 18 holes, then divide that by six for the probable number of people striking the ball simultaneously, plus driving ranges, then we need to... actually balls to it, like a bajillion?"

4. How many cricket balls are there in this room and why? (Eversheds)
"I can't see any. Oh wait there's one, and there's one. Oh look, there's another one. And another!... Erm, like eight, probably because you really like cricket balls."

5. If you were a dictator which dictator would you be? (Royal Shell)
"Darth Sidious -- easy."

6. If your life was an algabraic equation what letter or symbol would you be? (Google)
"I'd be the equals sign -- I always like to consider myself as the gateway to the answer."

7. How many hair salons are there in Japan? (Boston Consulting)
"There are between 1 and infinity hair salons in Japan"

8. How would you move Mount Fuji? (Microsoft)
"Lasers."

9. You're in a room with three switches which correspond to three light bulbs in another room, you're not allowed to use any other technical equipment. You can only enter the room with the bulbs once. How do you find out which switch works which bulb? (Goldman Sachs)
"I'd turn on one of the switches then go into the other room, and guess the other two, it's a 50-50 chance, I like those odds."

10. If you went bald, would you wear a wig or get a hair transplant? (Barclay)
"Pfff dunno, what did you do?... Mrs. Davies?"

11. What would you do if you found a baby in a basket on your doorstep? (Rogue Publications)
"Assume it was a vampire and raise it like Blade as a reformed vampire vigilante."

12. If you could ask God one question about life what would it be? (Medium Associates)
"What's the deal with white jeans? Are they okay?"

13. Do you think you're eulogy will start with a joke? (Foley PR)
"Only if it starts with a picture of your face!"

14. If you were locked in a room with a phone with no ring tone how would you get out? (Apple)
"I'd use the phone to smash the door down."

15. If it hadn't already been invented what invention are you most likely to come up with? (Apple)
"Marie Rose sauce. To be honest I'm kind of quite sure I invented it in the first place -- I'm not sure how news of it got out, but yeah, I love mixing condiments, it just comes naturally to me."

16. Do you think your parents are disappointed with your achievements? (Fisher Investments)
"They're disappointed with everything else about me, my grades, my sporting ability, my pale skin, my poor eye-site, my height, my political beliefs, my opinions, my singing voice, so I suppose it would follow."

17. Dogs or cats? (Havard)
"To be honest I think they both taste the same."

18. If you were a brick in a wall which brick would you be? (Nestle)
"The cornerstone -- without me, everyone falls down. And shatters. Into insignificant little pieces. That means you too mate, (*point at interviewer*) dust."

19. Rolling Stones or the Beatles? Why? (Andresands brewers)
"Beatles I'd say, you can't roll stones, let alone smoke them."

If you want to read the original article you can read it here: http://www.asylum.co.uk/2010/10/05/20-of-the-weirdest-ever-job-interview-questions-and-how-not-to-a/

[Necromancer]

Teh funnies. 

Here's some of my faves:

Q: If you were a tree what kind would you be?
A: Whatever kind that gets struck by lighting, falls over and hits your house, crushing you while you sleep.  Next.

Q: What's your favorite color?
A: Pink, of course (spoken in a deadly serious tone; works best with female interviewers).

Q: If someone were to write a biography about you, what do you think the title would be?
A: Bible - New New Testament.

[Tablet]

Q: If you were a tree what kind would you be?
A: Whatever kind that gets struck by lighting, falls over and hits your house, crushing you while you sleep.  Next.

Oh you must know an interview is going terribly wrong to use that answer, then again stupid question does warrant a stupid response.

[Necromancer]

Oh you must know an interview is going terribly wrong to use that answer...

If they ask such an inane question, the interview is probably over anyway.  I'm not sure I could handle working at such a stupid f*cking place.

[SignOfZeta]

OWNER: "Where you do see yourself in five years"

EMPLOYEE: "In your position, of course!"

OWNER: "Heh, that's very clever."

EMPLOYEE: "Driving a Mercedes, just like you!"

OWNER: "Ok, I get it."

EMPLOYEE: "The same Mercedes! Also, living in your house, and f*cking your wife!"

[blueraven]

8. How would you move Mount Fuji? (Microsoft)
"Lasers."

HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHHAHA 

[TheClash603]

I was one time asked "how many marbles would fit in this room?"

After 15 seconds of thought, I just gave an estimate.  I should've had more fun with it.

Only other weird question I ever got was "do you like reality TV."

[Tablet]

I was one time asked "how many marbles would fit in this room?"

Haha you should have replied with 'how big are the marbles?'

[bartre]

This reminds me of the movie Postal

"What is the Difference between a duck?"

"between a duck and wh-?"
"Wrong."

[TheClash603]

This reminds me of the movie Postal

"What is the Difference between a duck?"

"between a duck and wh-?"
"Wrong."

That movie was underrated, I got quite a kick out of it.  Maybe the reviewers all thought they were getting more virgins, and that movie made them think otherwise, so they panned it.