1up.com Schmup Feature

[KingDrool]

http://www.1up.com/do/feature?cId=3147303

Had some pretty cool Turbo/PC Engine mentions:

Parodius
Konami for countless systems
Released in 1991

FIERCEST FOE: A battleship adorned with day-glo Moai heads

Parodius is the best-known of all the slapstick shooters... which means that it's the only one on this list that nearly everyone has heard of. In the early 1990's, the designers at Konami felt like having some fun at the expensive of its first shoot-em-up, the genre-defining Gradius. They whipped up this spin-off which replaced the killer satellites, the laser cannons, and the combat droids of Gradius with waddling penguins, fifty-foot tall Vegas showgirls, and treasure chests loaded with hornets.

All aboard the Feline Express!
Even the Core ships (a trademark of the Gradius series and the first timid step toward the screen-filling bosses of more advanced shooters) were given a makeover. Instead of firing bullets into the armored vent of a starfighter many times your size, you'd blast the soft white underbellies of penguin pirates and gigantic tanukis -- you know, those dog raccoon things from Japan with the overstuffed luggage bag tucked under their tummies. (The less said about that, the better.)

Hardcore Gradius fans may not like the idea of their favorite shooter getting the Mel Brooks treatment, but it's hard not to love Parodius once you look beyond the stinging satire. The Vic Viper, along with a handful of friends from other Konami games, still rely on what's best described as a vending machine power up system. You collect as many crystals as you can, then press a button, and out pops a weapon (or the dreaded "Oh My God!" power-down, if you're not careful). The gameplay is the one thing in Parodius that Konami didn't turn into a joke.

Totally Serious Footnote: The Parodius series only got better with sequels. It's best to skip the first game entirely and go straight to Parodius Da!, released for the Super NES, Sega Saturn, and Sony Playstation. The artwork's a lot more impressive, there's a wider selection of characters, and the game won't send you back to a checkpoint when you get nailed by that hamster chef who snuck up on you in the second stage.

Ordyne
Namco for TurboDuo
Released in 1992

At first glance, you'd think that Namco's Ordyne was a shameless clone of the underappreciated Sega classic Fantasy Zone. However, as you continue to play it, it becomes clear that Ordyne has a lot more in common with traditional side-scrolling shooters. You'll take a straight path through each stage, gunning down enemy planes and collecting the balloon-bound bounty they leave in their wake. Like in Fantasy Zone, that wealth can be used in shops to boost your firepower.

Toilet Kids
Media Rings for TurboDuo
Released in 1993

It's been suggested that this simplified shooter was designed to encourage small children to potty train. However, Toilet Kids' opening scene, where a toilet blasts the hero into the sky with a jet of water and swallows him whole, would be traumatic enough to keep the average kid in diapers longer than George Costanza. The rest of the game isn't nearly as surprising, or as original -- you pilot a flying urinal over grassy plains, squirting foes while collecting glittering piles of poop.

Air Zonk
Hudson Soft for Turbografx-16
Released in 1992

FIERCEST FOE: Practically everything that moves... and even some things that shouldn't

People had come to expect absurdity from Bonk's Adventure, the Turbografx-16 platformer with enough bizarre twists to leave even M. Night Shaymalan at a loss for words. As kid caveman Bonk, you'd climb walls with your teeth, clobber freshly hatched foes with your head, and literally blow your mind after devouring raw meat.

This expressive mutt is just one of the hybrid forms in Hudson's Air Zonk.
However, fans of the series (that small handful of gamers who weren't already busy playing Mario or Sonic) were unprepared for Air Zonk. This side-scrolling shooter was set thousands of years in the future, with Bonk somehow surviving long enough to design his own android double. Zonk looked like a punk rock version of his creator, with sharp-rimmed sunglasses and a lightning bolt worthy of The Boy Who Lived adorning his forehead.

Unlike Bonk, however, NEC's high-tech hero has allies in his battle against King Drool. You select a sidekick at the beginning of each stage, then summon them to fight by your side after collecting enough smiley faces. Pick up even more and you'll merge with your partner, transforming into all kinds of outrageous hybrids. Some of these characters were too hot for American television, like Zonk donning Madonna's torpedo bra after merging with a cow, but even after NEC's censorship, the game was certifiably insane.

Totally Serious Footnote: Super Air Zonk: Rockabilly Paradise brought the feisty android to a more organic environment, similar to the prehistoric setting of the first three Bonk's Adventure games. The game was also given a CD-quality soundtrack and a more logical buddy system, yet Super Air Zonk just wasn't as intense or as fun as the original. Hudson has since released Bonk games for every system from the Super NES to the GameCube, but Zonk has yet to make a comeback on any currently supported game system.

It's always good to see a little NEC love from the mainstream gaming press.

[esteban]

kool. I don't check out the current gaming sites so I would never have seen that! I'm surprised they didn't mention Gate or Lords or some of the others! How did Ordyne get in there? Craziness

[akamichi]

Pretty good article but I have my reservations about some of the stuff.  I'm actually surprised that there were a number of PCE/Turbo games and hardly any Genesis games.  

A couple of nitpicks.  Nothing major, but worth noting...

The Parodius series only got better with sequels. It's best to skip the first game entirely and go straight to Parodius Da!, released for the Super NES, Sega Saturn, and Sony Playstation

Well, first of all, the first Parodius is Parodius Da!  I'm pretty sure the first console release was on the Famicom.  Famicom version not crazy enough for them but Stinger was?

Finally, why Cho Aniki for the _Saturn_?  I know Cho Aniki in general is a whacked out series, but I believe it started on PCE and had various incarnations on SFC, Sat, and PS2 like the article said.  I guess the PCE version and its sequel weren't weird enough for a mention.

I enjoyed the article, but those are the things that popped into my mind while reading it.  Maybe they should do "the hardest shooters" article next.  That would be interesting.

[GUTS]

I think the Saturn version of Cho Aniki is the same as the PS version I used to have which is the most f*cked up game I've just about ever played, it was totally one of the coolest games ever.  One of the best moments in gaming ever (and one I'd have to share with everyone who came over)  is getting to that first level boss; a gigantic old man with a metal diaper and a huge metal boner who moans when things come out of his ass.  MAN that was f*cking awesome.

[esteban]

I think the Saturn version of Cho Aniki is the same as the PS version I used to have which is the most f*cked up game I've just about ever played, it was totally one of the coolest games ever.  One of the best moments in gaming ever (and one I'd have to share with everyone who came over)  is getting to that first level boss; a gigantic old man with a metal diaper and a huge metal boner who moans when things come out of his ass.  MAN that was f*cking awesome.

Are you sh*tting me? Sorry, I couldn't resist .