First-world problems...
I bought a stupid scale a few years ago that automatically sends weight/BMI to phone/website.
It is supposed to figure out which one (of eight!) people is using scale via some *basic logic* that shouldn't even be called an algorithm...let's call it a basic f*cking equation.
Anyway...I resurrected this bastard two days ago (in other words, I wiped off two years of dust and replaced the batteries).
THE DAMN SCALE ONLY HAS TWO PROFILES (my wife and I) to choose from and The bastard keeps identifying me as "GUEST"... which means my data does not automatically sync with my profile.
Fine.
But after the FIFTH TIME of manually switching it from GUEST to ESTEBAN, shouldn't the piece of shite recognize me as ESTEBAN?
ALSO, this stupid scale does "cute" things like claiming it is "thinking" about stuff. This would not annoy me if it actually identified me properly. Don't scroll the word "thinking" in a whimsical manner on the display if you can't f*cking figure out that MY WIFE ABANDONED TWO YEARS AGO. I am the *only* f*cking person using the f*cking scale. Did I mention that? I AM THE ONLY ONE USING THE SCALE AND IT CAN'T f*ckING FIGURE IT OUT.
I have a theory that the scale is sentient and (likely) emotionally wounded by being neglected under the dresser for two years. Labeling me as "guest" is its passive aggressive way of communicating that frustration and pain.
Regardless...
f*ck YOU, expensive, passive-aggressive scale of shite.
(Aria by Fitbit...I bought it in 2013-14?)
As usual, I am currently on the toilet. I am going to squeeze out a few more drops of urine before I weigh myself on this damn scale.
UPDATE: forthcoming?
Anyone with a job title of "Change Agent" or "VP of Transformation" or something similar.
These dummies have no clue about the realities of the organization that they're trying to 'change' and simply come up with ideas that sound good on paper, but realistically don't work.
I would like to hear the story behind this!
