Oh my god! Whatever could be in that envelope?
It could be a bag of ketchup chips,
or Frankenberry cereal,
or a sealed Magical Chase,
or a French Tickler,
or a riding crop,
or an accounting textbook,
or an Ace of Base CD,
or a bird's nest,
or a U2 tank top,
or a bloody knife,
or a VHS of Walt Disney's Song of the South,
or a stack of AOL CDs,
or a bolt of calico,
or wax lips,
or a sad clown painting,
or a Mercedes hood ornament,
or a Knot's Landing script,
or an OREO doughnut,
or an ice bucket challenge,
or Tom Bosley's voter registration card,
or a gold brick,
or 2 gold bricks (!),
or a dirty diaper,
or a rock,
or Iraq...
The mind REELS!
Please put me down for some fun!