So you think you can raffle? aka not another raffle!

[MrBroadway]

removed

[schweaty]

A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

The next day the farmer drove up and said: "Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey died."

Kenny replied, "Well then, just give me my money back."

The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."

Kenny said, "OK, then just unload the donkey."

The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"

Kenny: "I'm going to raffle him off."

Farmer: "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

Kenny: "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he is dead."

A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"

Kenny: "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at $2 a piece and made a profit of $998.00."

Farmer: "Didn't anyone complain?"

Kenny: "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his $2 back."

Kenny grew up and eventually became the chairman of Enron

shamelessly stolen for a good cause... my raffle entry

[MrBroadway]

I roffled. +1

[cr8zykuban0]

awrsome raffle. great game! I got the game but kudos to you sir for the raffle.

as of jokes. ....uhhh......
why do seaguls live by the sea? if they lived by the bay, they would be called bagels.

bwaaaa ha ha ha ha!!!

[Flare65]

Add me!

I like dirty/offensive/politically incorrect jokes....I don't want to offend anyone here, so I got some tame ones to included...

Q: What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
 A: Your job still sucks!

Q: How do you kill a circus clown?
 A: Go for the juggler!

 Q: What do you call two fat people talking?
 A: A heavy discussion.

Thank you, thank you very much!  I'll be here all night!

[MrBroadway]

Added you both.

[spenoza]

+1 karma. Excellent raffle choice! Don't enter me, though. I already have this.

[Desh]

Hmmmm.... I'm not good at writing jokes so here are some amazing lyrics I've written for the classic "Diarrhea" song (as heard in the movie Parenthood).

I went to blow a fart and my pants blew apart.... diarrhea... diarrhea

I went to vent some gas then shit was spewin' out my ass... diarrhea... diarrhea

It kind of smelled like eggs, shit was running down my legs... diarrhea... diarrhea

[owlnonymous]

Space Bees! Count me in if I qualify. Danks! 

[johnnykonami]

This is one of my favorite versions of Galaga (my absolute favorite variation of the original is the arranged mode from Namco Classic Collection Vol. 1) and it's a generous little raffle you're having along with Panic Bomber.  Again, count me out of this one but thanks for having it!

[MrBroadway]

This is one of my favorite versions of Galaga (my absolute favorite variation of the original is the arranged mode from Namco Classic Collection Vol. 1) and it's a generous little raffle you're having along with Panic Bomber.  Again, count me out of this one but thanks for having it!

Agreed! It's such a great game. Desh, you're in. owlnonymous, where's that joke/clever wittiness??

[Medic_wheat]

Sweet add me. 


As for my joke.


About raffles.


A woman arrives home from work and her husband notices she's wearing a diamond necklace. He asks his wife, "Where did you get that necklace?"

She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner."

The next day, the women arrives home from work wearing a diamond bracelet. Her husband asks, "Where did you get the bracelet?"

She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner."

The next day, her husband notices she arrives home from work wearing a mink coat. He says, "I suppose you won that in a raffle at work?" She replies, "Yeah I did! How did you guess? Go get my bath ready while I start supper."

Later after supper, she goes to take her bath and she notices there is only one inch of water in the tub. She yells to her husband, "HEY! There's only an inch of water in the tub." He replies, "I didn't want you to get your raffle ticket wet."

[clackattack]

Haha, what a hilariously funny way to gain entry into this great raffle! All my jokes are extremely dirty/rather racist, so Ill steer clear of posting any of those.... so little chioces left.... oh oh, how bout this one:

      "Why do dogs lick themselves?"
       ->   "Because they can't make a fist."

Heres another I heard as a small child that took me almost 20 years to figure out what it meant:

      "How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?"
       ->  "Because Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper."   

[MrBroadway]

Thanks for the laughs. You guys are in!

[_joshuaTurbo]

#bafflesmeraffles

Great raffle, great game, good luck to all entrants!!  +1 Turbobbers karma to all!!

Don't enter me tho, I'm Galaga'd