Author Topic: Hairless Hair Metal  (Read 2172 times)

BigusSchmuck

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3425
Hairless Hair Metal
« on: April 08, 2015, 04:40:24 PM »
What sad times we are living in when someone has to wear a nosestrip and chew gum to only sound like the grandpaad version of their former self?

At least Eddie put on a good show.

Arkhan

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14142
  • Fuck Elmer.
    • Incessant Negativity Software
Re: Hairless Hair Metal
« Reply #1 on: April 08, 2015, 06:39:36 PM »
So, when did Van Halen become hair metal.

lol
[Fri 19:34]<nectarsis> been wanting to try that one for awhile now Ope
[Fri 19:33]<Opethian> l;ol huge dong

I'm a max level Forum Warrior.  I'm immortal.
If you're not ready to defend your claims, don't post em.

KingDrool

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1990
Re: Hairless Hair Metal
« Reply #2 on: April 09, 2015, 02:46:26 AM »
So, when did Van Halen become hair metal.

lol


Not strictly hair metal, but...an argument could be made...

Games I Need: Bonk 3 (HuCard), Legend of Hero Tonma, Magical Chase, Soldier Blade, Super Air Zonk.

Got one to sell? PM me!

_joshuaTurbo

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5156
Re: Hairless Hair Metal
« Reply #3 on: April 09, 2015, 03:18:48 AM »
people age.  they get old.  f*cking sad assed world we live in.

Could be worse.  He could've completely lost his shit like Axle.....


KingDrool

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1990
Re: Hairless Hair Metal
« Reply #4 on: April 09, 2015, 04:36:11 AM »
Ha!!!

Seeing current pictures of 80s rock stars is f*cking hilarious and depressing at the same time.
Games I Need: Bonk 3 (HuCard), Legend of Hero Tonma, Magical Chase, Soldier Blade, Super Air Zonk.

Got one to sell? PM me!

toymachine78

  • Guest
Re: Hairless Hair Metal
« Reply #5 on: April 09, 2015, 04:49:15 AM »
Oh dear god. That was horrible. I couldn't finish it. Dave needs to eat some cheeseburgers or something. And what's up with his nose? That look should have died with Michael Jackson.

BigusSchmuck

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3425
Re: Hairless Hair Metal
« Reply #6 on: April 09, 2015, 06:04:26 AM »

SignOfZeta

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8497
Re: Hairless Hair Metal
« Reply #7 on: April 09, 2015, 06:10:43 AM »
So, when did Van Halen become hair metal.

lol

Since always. Since they maybe invented it? f*ck if I know, but putting VH in some other category than one one which has Bullet Boys, Motley Crüe, Winger, or any of that other shit is just splitting great big pink hairs. The further back in time the hair metal era slips the less likely it looks like anyone on earth will have any use for it. This is one of the most completely spent and totally done-with genres of music I can think of. "If the music's too slow, you aren't drunk enough."

The most pathetic thing about this video, and there are many, is that somebody somewhere still thinks Runnin With the Devil is a song worth hearing in any setting. It's not. Even compared to the rest of VH's work it's super bad. It slow as hell and nothing happens except the sound of homoerotic yelping and squeaking from dipshit.

They still play that shit every day on the New Classic Power Rock stations stinking up the middle of the FM dial in every city in America. "Oh yeah! I hate this song!"

I can't fault the guy for the Breath-rite strip. If he needs it to do his job, he needs it. Even with hair so short (they clearly were going out of their way to make sure their hair wasn't too long, it's shorter than mine and I just got it cut a week ago) the fat, and wearing nothing notable to speak of to a gig that probably paid each member $10k per song, they still don't look half as stupid as they did during their prime. In short, they aren't pathetic NOW, they were pathetic THEN.

Arkhan

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14142
  • Fuck Elmer.
    • Incessant Negativity Software
Re: Hairless Hair Metal
« Reply #8 on: April 09, 2015, 06:15:56 AM »
I never really classified VH has hair metal.   I just classified VH as VH, because Eddie always kind of played some pretty weird shit that never really fit into a category.

and yeah, Running With the Devil is a retarded song.  It's cool to listen to once in awhile for the guitar.   That's about it.
[Fri 19:34]<nectarsis> been wanting to try that one for awhile now Ope
[Fri 19:33]<Opethian> l;ol huge dong

I'm a max level Forum Warrior.  I'm immortal.
If you're not ready to defend your claims, don't post em.

VenomMacbeth

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1837
Hairless Hair Metal
« Reply #9 on: April 09, 2015, 06:23:45 AM »
I'd still rather sit through this atrocity than anything by Katy Perry or Taylor Swift.  Metal is dead, and it's dead because any shmo can pick up a guitar & derp some power chords & palm mutes out of it, belt something out in a guttural tone, and call it f*cking metal.
Play Turbografx.
Play the Turbografx. PLAY
THE TURBOGRAFX!!!!!!

Buh buh buh, I have almost all teh games evar.  I R TEH BESTEST COLLECTR!!

SignOfZeta

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8497
Re: Hairless Hair Metal
« Reply #10 on: April 09, 2015, 06:34:39 AM »
Iron Maiden doesn't classify themselves as power metal because they predated the evolution of genuine power metal by as much as a decade. However, that's basically what they are. Similarly VH came as much out of 1970s glam rock as they did metal, they predated hair metal, but it's a genre they eventually settled into if they didn't help invent it. Really it was the record labels that pushed what would have been an LA-only sub-genre of douche rock to the national stage. Kids from my generation spent their teen years actually thinking that that's what rock was. When grunge, hiphop, and acid house started to become more well known it only took maybe two years for kids to forget this garbage ever got made, it's death was swift, and the only people who defend it today are the sort of people who haven't purchased music or concert tickets in 20 years. It's so over, and I am so glad.


I did buy Europe's most recent album though, I enjoyed it. I'm not going to lie. It's still basically hair metal, but Joey Tempest never rode around on an giant inflatable microphone like he was a stripper.

Necromancer

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 21366
Re: Hairless Hair Metal
« Reply #11 on: April 09, 2015, 06:55:14 AM »
When I think Europe, I think Bluth.
U.S. Collection: 97% complete    155/159 titles

Arkhan

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14142
  • Fuck Elmer.
    • Incessant Negativity Software
Re: Hairless Hair Metal
« Reply #12 on: April 09, 2015, 07:01:25 AM »
I mainly defend hair metal for the guitar.   There are alot of really talented guitarists in those bands, with a lot of really intense shit going on.

Unfortunately it's all wrapped up in cheesy lyrics.  The stuff is fun to blast when you want to act stupid, but, I have a hard time trying to comprehend people who take that shit seriously.

I saw it when I went and saw Poison/Ratt/White Lion live.

45-50 year old dudes dressed like they just fell out of a stoner van, basically acting like drunk retards.

I *hope* they were just living it up for the concert, as opposed to acting like that 24/7.
[Fri 19:34]<nectarsis> been wanting to try that one for awhile now Ope
[Fri 19:33]<Opethian> l;ol huge dong

I'm a max level Forum Warrior.  I'm immortal.
If you're not ready to defend your claims, don't post em.

toymachine78

  • Guest
Re: Hairless Hair Metal
« Reply #13 on: April 09, 2015, 08:06:36 AM »
I'd still rather sit through this atrocity than anything by Katy Perry or Taylor Swift.  Metal is dead, and it's dead because any shmo can pick up a guitar & derp some power chords & palm mutes out of it, belt something out in a guttural tone, and call it f*cking metal.
   What planet do you live on? Metal is alive and well, and has quite a resurgence over the past decade. Shadows Fall, Opeth, Lamb of God, Arch Enemy, Children of Bodom, Whitr Chapel, Carnifex... I could sit here all afternoon listing current metal bands that are doing well.  Not to mention the old school bands that still pack houses. In the past two years I've seen Iron Maiden twice, Megadeth, Slayer, and Exodus. All shows were sold out, and all bands freaking sounded great.

And as Arkhan stated, these weren't any old schmos that picked up a guitar. Metal players are some of the most accomplished guitarists on the planet. That goes for the 80s and current guitarists. Randy Rhodes, Steve Vai.... And more recent Alexi Laiho.

This has got to be the most bullshit uninformed post I've read in any thread.

Mark Morton & Willie Adler:


Alexi Laiho (Children of Bodom)  full version- Passage to the Reaper.avi:

« Last Edit: April 09, 2015, 08:33:59 AM by toymachine78 »

toymachine78

  • Guest
Re: Hairless Hair Metal
« Reply #14 on: April 09, 2015, 08:10:17 AM »
So, when did Van Halen become hair metal.

lol

Since always. Since they maybe invented it? f*ck if I know, but putting VH in some other category than one one which has Bullet Boys, Motley Crüe, Winger, or any of that other shit is just splitting great big pink hairs. The further back in time the hair metal era slips the less likely it looks like anyone on earth will have any use for it. This is one of the most completely spent and totally done-with genres of music I can think of. "If the music's too slow, you aren't drunk enough."

The most pathetic thing about this video, and there are many, is that somebody somewhere still thinks Runnin With the Devil is a song worth hearing in any setting. It's not. Even compared to the rest of VH's work it's super bad. It slow as hell and nothing happens except the sound of homoerotic yelping and squeaking from dipshit.

They still play that shit every day on the New Classic Power Rock stations stinking up the middle of the FM dial in every city in America. "Oh yeah! I hate this song!"

I can't fault the guy for the Breath-rite strip. If he needs it to do his job, he needs it. Even with hair so short (they clearly were going out of their way to make sure their hair wasn't too long, it's shorter than mine and I just got it cut a week ago) the fat, and wearing nothing notable to speak of to a gig that probably paid each member $10k per song, they still don't look half as stupid as they did during their prime. In short, they aren't pathetic NOW, they were pathetic THEN.
   Sure they look ridiculous now in retrospect, but then that was pretty normal. Hell the 80's was ridiculous period.  They looked a lot more normal than KISS, David Bowie, Elvis, or Jimmy Paige in his Elvis like jump suits.


« Last Edit: April 09, 2015, 08:17:39 AM by toymachine78 »