fabricate an SSN for it and claim your collection as a dependent. take out a life insurance policy on it. anything happens to it and you can not only throw a funeral for it but you'll cash out on that sweet insurance monies.
Hey Nullity, is your tag image from Tim & Eric Awesome Show Great Job?
I'm not Nullity, but I can judge by your question that you've never taught your son about the universe. Have you ever even tried putting it in a tube, brah?