My first sealed game; need advice

[Dicer]

There are far worse PCE games, if you don't like it feel free to send it this way...

[EmperorIng]

(4) Listen to soundtrack from Psychic Storm.

Thanks for the advice, though things didn't go as planned. I ended up listening to the Verytex soundtrack instead. I don't know if that affected anything but it might of glitched out the game; the game is only showing three types of enemies in all of its levels. I still have the plastic-wrap; is there a way I can use that on the game itself to fix it?

Conan ain't bad at all, with neat art and decent cut scenes.

I find it best to chop off the shrinkwrap using Sting, but it requires a deft hand at precision ax work.  Whatever you use, don't forget to recycle the shrinkwrap; Gaia will thank you.

I agree, I think Conan is a decent game, and the easy difficulty makes it a nice casual play.The cut scenes are well drawn and colorful. Its nice to play a game once in a while that doesn't completely kick your ass. That's why I like shockman 3 too

I think a big difference here is that Shubibinman 3 lets you skip cutscenes. And is a good game.

[EmperorIng]

There are far worse PCE games

Having beaten this game last night, this statement might be technically true (so many shitty visual novel/digital comic/life-sim garbage...), but this is certainly leads the pack of 3/10s.

The excitement of unsealing a game could not match my expectation of mediocrity, but then again, this game exceeded my expectations - worse than I thought!

[esteban]

There are far worse PCE games

Having beaten this game last night, this statement might be technically true (so many shitty visual novel/digital comic/life-sim garbage...), but this is certainly leads the pack of 3/10s.

The excitement of unsealing a game could not match my expectation of mediocrity, but then again, this game exceeded my expectations - worse than I thought!

1/10?

2/10?

0.5/10?

Help us out! Compare it to other pablum...on any console. References!

[EmperorIng]

Games as awful as Future Boy Conan:

Dekoboko Densetsu
Browning*
Gotzendiener*
XZR III - Exile 2: Janen no Jishou

criteria: showing a bare minimum of competence in audio and visuals, but almost completely undone by poor design and playability. Bad controls + lame levels + no enemy variety = lousy game

Conan would have squeaked into an un-respectable 4/10 (not good by any stretch, but not particularly offensive; e.g. Valis II), but its unskippable cutscenes push right into that "offensive" category.

*actually, both of these are far worse than Conan; hence "leading the pack" at 3/10.

[Necromancer]

So why'd you even buy it in the first place?  Did you just want something to cry about and need some attention?

[Otaking]

Games as awful as Future Boy Conan:

Gotzendiener*

I like Götzendiener, bit short, but still good.

[EmperorIng]

Short isn't so much the problem as the lame level design, but that's a rant for another day (that's already passed).

So why'd you even buy it in the first place?

Took a shot in the dark; didn't know much about the game other than it probably sucked because Telenet. Thought it'd be fun to make a sealed game joke thread. Once i played it it turned into a laugh-at-how-shitty-this-game-is post, sharing good company with Browning and Dekoboko. There should be a Telenet Hall of Shame.

And people who have threads dedicated to their impressions on games they beat shouldn't throw stones. 

Highlights of Mirai Shounen Conan:

[ul][li]Abusing the invincibility you have while kicking to slide through a level and all its enemies in record time[/li][li]dying because the game plays a 5-second unskippable animation and locks your controls when you fall from a moderately high ledge[/li][li]Having to make a blind jump over a death pit onto a moving platform whose starting point you can't see[/li][li]final boss is a generic dude with a gun who you just kick a couple of times off a ledge[/li][/ul]

[Gredler]

Verytex soundtrack

Enjoyable tunes, thanks!

I like Götzendiener, bit short, but still good.

I've enjoyed it too, but am curious as to what you do not like about it Ing.

So why'd you even buy it in the first place?  Did you just want something to cry about and need some attention?

This was my initial thoughts as well, poking the bear and expecting a reaction

Took a shot in the dark; didn't know much about the game other than it probably sucked because Telenet.

It's so hard for me to do something like this, buy something without knowing if it's good or bad - or even my bag or not. I would be very much more likely to invest in something with implied enjoyment returns.

What were your expectations, or what inclined you to purchase it other than the fact it was sealed? I picked up a sealed game just now, but it's not nearly as old as one of these. I don't remember the last time I purchased a "new" old game, older than DS/PS2/GCN/XBox.

[EmperorIng]

ha, the sealed copy of conan was the cheapest available on Amazon at the time, costing less than my lunch today.

I like platformers; they're my favorite genre. I was willing to let myself be pleasantly surprised if a game turned out to be flawed-but-likable. In this case I only purchased grief. If it's in the $10.00 range I can afford to take a risk. In this case I get the extra amusement out of explaining how bad the game is, plus investigating the ritual of unsealing games.

[Gredler]

ha, the sealed copy of conan was the cheapest available on Amazon at the time, costing less than my lunch today.

I like platformers; they're my favorite genre. I was willing to let myself be pleasantly surprised if a game turned out to be flawed-but-likable. In this case I only purchased grief. If it's in the $10.00 range I can afford to take a risk. In this case I get the extra amusement out of explaining how bad the game is, plus investigating the ritual of unsealing games.

Danm that's affordable! They sell PCE games on Amazon? I need to broaden my horizons

[Necromancer]

And people who have threads dedicated to their impressions on games they beat shouldn't throw stones. 

A single thread covering dozens of games and providing actual insight about what I liked and didn't like is hardly analogous, but whatever floats your boat.

Perhaps if it didn't take you a half dozen posts before you posted WHY you don't like the game, you wouldn't come off sounding like such a sandy vag.  It's hard to have a discussion about a game when the only viewpoints we have to rebut are "it sucks".

[Gredler]

It's hard to have a discussion about a game when the only viewpoints we have to rebut are "it sucks".

I would also appreciate a more detailed discussion of the birthed game, and perhaps the experience of opening the game I haven't opened a classic since the era, maybe I should pick one up and join the undressing party.

[Necromancer]

Yes!  Did the manual smell like old cheese?  Were there any pubes trapped under the wrap?  Did he finger the plastic like a virgin's hymen, or is game fingering limited to cardboard boxes?  Sooo many questions!!! 

[Gredler]

Yes!  Did the manual smell like old cheese?  Were there any pubes trapped under the wrap?  Did he finger the plastic like a virgin's hymen, or is game fingering limited to cardboard boxes?  Sooo many questions!!! 

Did the glue disintegrate into a plume of inhale-able dust, and how high did that make you after quickly inhaling it? The details of this event going undocumented is an absolute shame.