Never get bit by a brown recluse spider. WARNING: Kinda disgusting...

[Kitsunexus]

We have them here in Washington state, along with Black Widows.

We have f*cking TARANTULAS.... it's fun to take them in a shovel and throw them on the side of the house to paralyze them, and watch them die.

Dude, tarantulas don't hurt anybody -- you can relocate them without the carnage. Yeah, I pull over when I see a spider on my windshield and relocate it to a bush before resuming my drive. I'm a softie, I suppose, but spiders do lots of good stuff (i.e. eating other bugs... like ants!).

Man, I live in Texas, for every one I kill, there's like 40 more. And as far as them not hurting anybody, we've had to put 2 cats down because they got bit by them...

[esteban]

We have them here in Washington state, along with Black Widows.

We have f*cking TARANTULAS.... it's fun to take them in a shovel and throw them on the side of the house to paralyze them, and watch them die.

Dude, tarantulas don't hurt anybody -- you can relocate them without the carnage. Yeah, I pull over when I see a spider on my windshield and relocate it to a bush before resuming my drive. I'm a softie, I suppose, but spiders do lots of good stuff (i.e. eating other bugs... like ants!).

Man, I live in Texas, for every one I kill, there's like 40 more. And as far as them not hurting anybody, we've had to put 2 cats down because they got bit by them...

Crap, I didn't know they could hurt small animals. I thought they were harmless. There were never any tarantulas where I lived, so...

[Kitsunexus]

We have them here in Washington state, along with Black Widows.

We have f*cking TARANTULAS.... it's fun to take them in a shovel and throw them on the side of the house to paralyze them, and watch them die.

Dude, tarantulas don't hurt anybody -- you can relocate them without the carnage. Yeah, I pull over when I see a spider on my windshield and relocate it to a bush before resuming my drive. I'm a softie, I suppose, but spiders do lots of good stuff (i.e. eating other bugs... like ants!).

Man, I live in Texas, for every one I kill, there's like 40 more. And as far as them not hurting anybody, we've had to put 2 cats down because they got bit by them...

Crap, I didn't know they could hurt small animals. I thought they were harmless. There were never any tarantulas where I lived, so...

They don't really hurt small animals, just small animals that are stupid enough to keep messing with them. None of our other cats have messed with them. They aren't poisonous or anything (the little hairs on the back are sort of poisonous but not enough to kill), the cats just let their bites get infected for some reason.

My mom has a duck that likes to EAT tarantulas, it waddles over to them, tosses them up in the air, catches it in it's bill and chomps it. It's hilarious because you hear this CRUNCH and you see all these little legs fall out.

[FM-77]

Large spiders and poisonous critters are cool. We don't have ANYTHING like that here. Every animal is nice and peaceful.

[Keranu]

My mom has a duck that likes to EAT tarantulas, it waddles over to them, tosses them up in the air, catches it in it's bill and chomps it. It's hilarious because you hear this CRUNCH and you see all these little legs fall out.

WTF? Is it normal for ducks to eat spiders like that? I used to have pet ducks and chickens, but the animal patrol took them away because you can only own pets like that if you live on a farm. I miss those little goofy guys .

[FM-77]

Ducks and chickens are super awesome. I love them.

[guyjin]

WTF? Is it normal for ducks to eat spiders like that? I used to have pet ducks and chickens, but the animal patrol took them away because you can only own pets like that if you live on a farm. I miss those little goofy guys .

Not all cities are like that. I know here in Counciltucky, there's at least one guy who keeps geese and such.
Still sucks that they got taken 

[esteban]

They don't really hurt small animals, just small animals that are stupid enough to keep messing with them. None of our other cats have messed with them. They aren't poisonous or anything (the little hairs on the back are sort of poisonous but not enough to kill), the cats just let their bites get infected for some reason.

My mom has a duck that likes to EAT tarantulas, it waddles over to them, tosses them up in the air, catches it in it's bill and chomps it. It's hilarious because you hear this CRUNCH and you see all these little legs fall out.

Holy insanity, a duck eating a fat hairy tarantula is an image I can't get out of my head. I've never seen a duck eat anything bigger than a minnow / tiny beetle.

[nat]

WTF? Is it normal for ducks to eat spiders like that? I used to have pet ducks and chickens, but the animal patrol took them away because you can only own pets like that if you live on a farm.

Are you kidding me? Are you serious? If not, that is possibly the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life.

Think Office Space-esque Lumberg here...



ANIMAL PATROL: Yeeeaaahh.... We're gonna have to go ahead and confiscate the fowl.

KERANU: 

ANIMAL PATROL: Yeeeaaahh.... You see, they passed a few laws here this week and, well, long story short, the ducks have gotta go.

ANIMAL PATROL'S NAMELESS ASSOCIATE: You don't actually have a farm here, do you?

ANIMAL PATROL: Horses? Cows? Stables?

KERANU: No, but...

ANIMAL PATROL'S NAMELESS ASSOCIATE: That's all we need to know. Thanks!

ANIMAL PATROL: (to NAMELESS ASSOCIATE) Better get the cages and the tranq gun.

ANIMAL PATROL: (to KERANU) I'm gonna need you to go ahead and head back inside the house. This might get a little messy.

KERANU:  ........ 

[Kitsunexus]

LOL, to clarify for everyone, yes the duck really eats tarantulas, and we live in a rural area, so we can have pretty much whatever we want.

[Keranu]

WTF? Is it normal for ducks to eat spiders like that? I used to have pet ducks and chickens, but the animal patrol took them away because you can only own pets like that if you live on a farm.

Are you kidding me? Are you serious? If not, that is possibly the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life.

Yeah I'm dead serious. It was really awesome too because they would just waddle around the yard, sometimes visit another person's yard if they felt like it and everyone really enjoyed their company. Sometimes they would go up to our porch and stand next to our door actually wanting to come in for a minute. I also miss this little parade that would go on where my dog would chase the female duck and the female duck's husband would chase the dog. 

We had them for like one year straight and that whole time the animal patrol didn't say anything so then all of a sudden they told us they had to take them away. They were really rude too because instead of just kindly asking us the pick up the duck and handing it to him, the dude got out his neck strangler thing and caught the duck with it instead. A couple weeks ago the animal patrol came back to catch a neighbor's dog that likes to prawl around and chased it in people's yard with a neck thing and tranq gun, totally unnecessary.

[Black Tiger]

I also miss this little parade that would go on where my dog would chase the female duck and the female duck's husband would chase the dog.

 

[Turbo D]

A couple weeks ago the animal patrol came back to catch a neighbor's dog that likes to prawl around and chased it in people's yard with a neck thing and tranq gun, totally unnecessary.

Sounds like the animal patrol in my neighborhood. They sure are dicks .

[Kitsunexus]

One time, when we still lived in a ghetto-ish neighborhood, we had this stray cat come up to our house. He was cool and everything, we could pet him and stuff, but we couldn't have like over 3 cats (or something like that) so we had to get rid of him. We called the animal control, so the guy comes over (he's one of my mom's friend's friends so we know he'll treat the cat nice) and he grabs the cat. The cat is OK with it, but then the dude tries to put the cat into the little carrier box.

Houston, we have liftoff.

That cat just ZOOMS out, onto the guys chest, over his head and speeds off into the night.

We never saw the poor thing again. 

[nat]

WTF? Is it normal for ducks to eat spiders like that? I used to have pet ducks and chickens, but the animal patrol took them away because you can only own pets like that if you live on a farm.

Are you kidding me? Are you serious? If not, that is possibly the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life.

Yeah I'm dead serious. It was really awesome too because they would just waddle around the yard, sometimes visit another person's yard if they felt like it and everyone really enjoyed their company.

Years ago, when I was just a wee teen lad living with my dad, there was a chicken that used to hang around our yard. This lasted about a year.

No one knew where it came from but it didn't do much. It hung around the bushes a lot. It wouldn't let you approach it without clucking and running off. It even laid an egg towards the end of it's visit. We're not quite sure how it was impregnated to begin with considering there were no roosters around (that we knew of).

That winter it snowed and got really cold and the chicken just stood out there on one leg and weathered the storm. The next day it was gone and we never saw it again.

The egg never hatched.