However, I did find an alternative to the tap...
http://cgi.ebay.com/Jack-Nicklaus-Turbo-Golf-Turbo-Grafx-CHAIN-SMOKE-ED_W0QQitemZ170106309177QQihZ007QQcategoryZ62053QQrdZ1QQssPageNameZWD1VQQcmdZViewItem
Oh, you've struck gold, my friend. The subtitle is the real kicker: "ONLY GAME THIS GUY EVER PLAYED??? INSERTED ONCE!!!"
Ok, I'm slow: what does "chain-smoked" refer to? The fact that this dude put Jack Nicklaus in his TGMM-16 and never took it out, ever?
No, it refers to the fact this dude put Jack Nicklaus in his TG-16, never took it out, and then proceeded to smoke 239,871 cigarettes while apparently blowing smoke rings on the exposed portion. That's the only feasible, scientifically plausible, expert-endorsed way this cart ended up in this condition.
The real question is, what spectacular set of circumstances prompted the owner to actually remove the cart from his TG-16 in the first place?
Maybe he decided to give Power Golf a spin and never looked back.
Or maybe he just got lung cancer and died.
EDIT: Do you guys think that HuCard is 85% new
I do not, no. More like ...... 68%.
That card is clearly 15% new, no less, no more, and
85% SMOKED!!!!