Author Topic: Lamest boot screen EVER.  (Read 2027 times)

Kitsunexus

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Lamest boot screen EVER.
« on: June 06, 2007, 12:21:50 PM »


Let's break this down for the bandwidth-impaired. First, we have a "cool" zooming logo with a digitized roar, falling ugly as f*ck almost-voxel letters with cheesy ass Casio falling sounds, then with an equally Casio and kindergarten-ish theme for the Atari fanfare. This is then followed by the classic Fairlight CMI orchestra stab, overused in the 80's and then used in Nintendo games such as Mario Paint and Star Fox. This "amazing" graphical demonstration was apparently not enough for Atari, we had to have a low-poly spinning cube with an ugly picture of a real jaguar on all sides. I sincerely doubt this picture was royalty free, I'm assuming they stole it.

WTF was Atari smoking? If this was the console I was releasing I would be SO embarrassed if it booted like that.

Is this or is this not, the lamest/gayest/suckiest/shittiest/worst/i'm out of f*cking adjectives boot screen in history?

Turbo D

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Re: Lamest boot screen EVER.
« Reply #1 on: June 06, 2007, 12:27:56 PM »
Yes, it gets gay fast, right after the jaguar roar. But there is hope; the jag cd attachment. It makes the system use a cool virtual light machine boot screen, wow cool dude.

Kitsunexus

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Re: Lamest boot screen EVER.
« Reply #2 on: June 06, 2007, 12:30:31 PM »
That's actually pretty cool. Not as cool as the

Keranu

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Re: Lamest boot screen EVER.
« Reply #3 on: June 06, 2007, 03:11:05 PM »
I've never seen the Jaguar boot up screen before, but I thought that was pretty sweet myself! I love how it plays the "Have you played Atari today?" theme song. The image of the Jaguar in the box was unnecessary, but I got a good kick out of it for it's cheesiness. The CD light show looked neat too, but not as cool as what I was hoping for when I first heard about it last year.

That FM Towns Marty boot up is way too damn long!
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Adding PCE console specific layer on top of that, makes for an interesting challenge (no, not a reference to Ys II).

Kitsunexus

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Re: Lamest boot screen EVER.
« Reply #4 on: June 06, 2007, 04:03:01 PM »
I've never seen the Jaguar boot up screen before, but I thought that was pretty sweet myself! I love how it plays the "Have you played Atari today?" theme song. The image of the Jaguar in the box was unnecessary, but I got a good kick out of it for it's cheesiness. The CD light show looked neat too, but not as cool as what I was hoping for when I first heard about it last year.

That FM Towns Marty boot up is way too damn long!

1. I didn't even know that Casio fart had a name.

2. The light show would be cool even if it was just a solitary blue pixel because it is coded by Jeff "Yak" Minter. A.K.A. God.

3. The vectorball sequence in the FM Towns Marty is completely skippable. I like to have things boot up and play music and cool graphical effects for me, until I tell them to stop. Think of it as the FM Town's little way of saying "Thank you for rescuing me from the back of some junk store where I would have rotted away until the end of time! I hope I can make you happy and prove to be useful for you! ^_^". It's like in those movies when the hero saves the town, and the little girl or boy runs up and gives them something they made, it's not spectacular but he knows they spent a lot of time making it, so he gives them a knoing smile and off he goes. It's like that.

Necromancer

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Re: Lamest boot screen EVER.
« Reply #5 on: June 07, 2007, 02:38:43 AM »
Agreed - Lame boot screen for a lame console.

The Sega CD is equally lame - Yippee!  Let's scale and rotate a lame color cycling Sega CD logo and a Sega logo in front of a lame shot of the earth while some lame music plays.  Thank the gods they used both logos or people would have stayed up nights trying to figure out who made the Sega CD.
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FM-77

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Re: Lamest boot screen EVER.
« Reply #6 on: June 07, 2007, 03:21:14 AM »
That boot screen is a major crime against everything that doesn't suck. It was the most awful thing I've seen since I saw the Atari Jaguar itself. If I could erase something from the history of the universe, it would be the Jaguar. Or the Cd-i.

Kitsunexus

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Re: Lamest boot screen EVER.
« Reply #7 on: June 07, 2007, 08:33:49 AM »
The Sega CD is equally lame - Yippee!  Let's scale and rotate a lame color cycling Sega CD logo and a Sega logo in front of a lame shot of the earth while some lame music plays.  Thank the gods they used both logos or people would have stayed up nights trying to figure out who made the Sega CD.

The Japanese edition boot screen is AWESOME though.

That boot screen is a major crime against everything that doesn't suck. It was the most awful thing I've seen since I saw the Atari Jaguar itself. If I could erase something from the history of the universe, it would be the Jaguar. Or the Cd-i.

The Jaguar DOES have Tempest 2000 and AVP though, dude.

Keranu

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Re: Lamest boot screen EVER.
« Reply #8 on: June 07, 2007, 08:59:10 AM »
Do you hate Jaguar because it's ALL-AMERICAN?
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Adding PCE console specific layer on top of that, makes for an interesting challenge (no, not a reference to Ys II).

FM-77

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Re: Lamest boot screen EVER.
« Reply #9 on: June 07, 2007, 09:27:40 AM »
If you asked me: No, I do it because it sucks.

Kitsunexus

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Re: Lamest boot screen EVER.
« Reply #10 on: June 07, 2007, 09:35:17 AM »
Seldane said it first.

When there are only TWO good games on your system, you have some serious freaking issues.

Keranu

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Re: Lamest boot screen EVER.
« Reply #11 on: June 07, 2007, 10:03:16 AM »
I've been wanting to get a Jaguar for awhile now, but keep passing it up! I've only played a handful of games and thought it was decent. I also want to get one for the strong homebrew support alone.
Quote from: Bonknuts
Adding PCE console specific layer on top of that, makes for an interesting challenge (no, not a reference to Ys II).

Dark Fact

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Re: Lamest boot screen EVER.
« Reply #12 on: June 07, 2007, 05:21:52 PM »
Looked like a boot up I could expect on an old 386 PC.  God, that was cheesy! :?

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When there are only TWO good games on your system, you have some serious freaking issues.
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ParanoiaDragon

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Re: Lamest boot screen EVER.
« Reply #13 on: June 07, 2007, 06:13:05 PM »
What else you ask?  I love most of my games for the Jag!  Sure, there's the usual Tempest 2K & AvP, but I also love Atari Karts, Attack of the Mutant Pegnuins, Protector, Defender 2K, Missile Command 3D, Hyper Force, Battle Morph, Breakout 2000, Brutal Sports Football, Cannon Fodder, Checkered Flag, Club Drive, Evolution: Dino Dudes, Fever Pitch Soccer , Flashback, Flip Out!, Hover Strike: Unconquered Lands CD, Iron Soldier, Iron Soldier 2 CD, I-War, NBA Jam, Painter CD, Pinbal Fantasies, Pitfall: The Mayan Adventure, Power Drive Rally, Primal Rage CD, Raiden, Rayman, Ruiner Pinball, Sensible Soccer, Skyhammer, Soccer Kid, Super Burnout, Total Carnage, Val D'isere Skiing and Snowboarding, Wolfenstein 3D, World Tour Racing CD, Worms, Zero 5, Zool 2, & Zoop (Viacom/Atari) (Apr 03, 2006)


I also here Battle Sphere is really good, but expensive!  Now, I'm not saying these games are awesome, but, I still love them, & I deffinitly love the Jag over the 3DO I might mention!

TR0N

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Re: Lamest boot screen EVER.
« Reply #14 on: June 07, 2007, 06:28:24 PM »
Sega CD Start up Model 1
For some odd reason the music for it put's me off.

I perfer the start up on the model 2 more on the Sega CD.


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