What you need is a computer. SNES emulation has been almost perfect for years on Windows, and virtually as well on Linux, or OSX.
I'm pretty sure SNES emulation still sucks on DC, although I gave up paying attention since it lagged for so long.
Either way, I think you are some kind of...like...gigantic a$$hole, or something. A DC is for playing DC games. The emulation is just a cool side track. It emulates Neo Geo CD pretty f*cking well, and even AES better than I ever thought possible. SMS is fantastic as well, 2600, etc etc.
The DC is one of the best systems ever, regardless of whether or not you manage to jack off to it as much as you want to.