I had never seen Blade Runner prior to buying The Final Cut DVD. Shocking, yes I know. I bought the Final Cut version because this is how Ridley Scott intended it to be, also some people on the net said that this version cleared up certain scenes involving the unicorn and shit.
So naturally when I saw this in Wal-Mart, I figured this would be a great way to get introduced to a great movie.
If you like this movie, please skip the rest of this post, as I am about to shit all over your dreams. I'm not going to skip over any spoilers either, you can't spoil something that already has curdles in it.
This movie f*cking SUCKED. SUCKED ASS. SUCKED ASS THROUGH A f*ckING STRAW. I can't believe I bought this shit, and what's more I can't believe this is a "sci-fi classic". It has an interesting story, sure, but the movie moves LIKE A f*ckING GLACIER. VERY................f*ckING......................SLOWLY. I just cannot get over the pace, it was like, EVERY DAILY ACTIVITY WAS REWARDED AMPLE SCREEN TIME. >_<
The acting was incredibly cheesy and very wooden, it made me not care for a single character in the film. In fact it hurts the story, as you figure out Rachel's a replicant LONG BEFORE the story decides to reveal it thanks to the shit acting.
The set design was alright, but I could have done without the Chinese girls eating shit on every f*cking wall or blimp. I f*ckING HATE THAT f*ckING BLIMP. You're supposed to feel sad after the evil robot dies just after sparing Deckard's life, but it's like, do you SEE any f*cking robots around today? WE HAVE NO f*ckING ROBOTS. THUS I DO NOT GET THE MESSAGE ABOUT ROBOT CRUELTY.
Also, explaining the unicorn? WTF, THAT DID NOTHING TO f*ckING EXPLAIN ANYTHING! I seriously thought that I had purchased the normal DVD by mistake, as you only see two five-second segments of a unicorn. But no, unless it was a mistake at the packaging/pressing plants, my DVD is the Final Cut.
So after watching the movie, scratching my head, and searching for the receipt (which as I unfortunately found out Wal-Mart does not accept returns on movies) I decided to watch the movie with the commentary of Ridley Scott.
OH. MY. f*ckING. GOLDFISH. If there is ANYONE so dry and pretentious enough that it will LITERALLY put you to sleep, it is Ridley Scott. I could not get past three scenes with his commentary. Thank goldfish Snatch is such a light-hearted movie, the dark/gritty images coupled with Ridley Scott's incessant droning about how he's a f*cking genuis just REALLY bored me.
The one thing done right in this movie, and I don't really think it's any surprise, is the AMAZING score by Vangelis. That dude can DO NO WRONG. Seriously, hats off to him.
So yeah, I really just don't get Blade Runner. No offense those who do, but I just regretted this purchase immediately after the opening credits.
Speaking of Snatch, btw, that's am OK movie, but I watched it once as it was originally presented, and then again with the deleted scenes re-inserted, but I don't think I'll be watching it again for a LONG time.