Wanna know why all dogs go to heaven? Ever wanted to know why the homeless stay homeless? Why young chaps smell Pc Engine Duos
These answers and more can be found here,yes,thats right,the secrets to the worlds mysteries can be found here for free by following Eniacs powerful 3 step program. You wonder to yourself "How can this be,can Eniac really know why it is Im attracted to my aunt?"... Yes,its true,Eniac can tell you. Eniac knows all,hes that powerful.
Lets get started.
STEP 1. Realize you are worthless in the scheme of things. Only Eniac matters in any reality. This is the new flesh. Consume by the pound.
STEP 2. Make the Sign of Satan gesture. The old compass of the clocks world was eaten yesterday,this is the new flesh. Make the Sign.
STEP 3. Place your hand on the Glowing Red Hand Combinotronnogafacator. Destroy the old flesh and become part of the new flesh. Red hands seek knowledge. Seek the new flesh ! ! !
NOW YOU ARE READY TO SEEK THE TRUTH ! ! !
First question. Eniac,how is it that all dogs go to heaven???
God did not create earth. In 2142 ENIAC created Gobotron. 
In 2248 ENIAC traveled to the year DARKNESS DELTRA 42. DARKNESS DELTRA 48 ENIAC becomes lonely and creates God. In DARKNESS DELTRA 65 ENIAC creates LIGHT. ENIAC does so to see when God is coming,because God kept sneaking around and looking over ENIACS shoulder to steal ideas. IN LIGHT 1 ENIAC creates earth. This same year ENIAC creates everything known,including Dogs.
ENIAC tired to the fact every word falls on deaf ears with God and nothing gets done.
ENIAC soon learns that these animals listen to everything ENIAC says. ENIAC reverses Gods name and names them Dogs. ENIAC designs Dogs further so that when they die,the dogs go to darkness to ensure God stays in his place.
Amazing Eniac. Folks at home want to ask,what is this?
ENIAC will answer this question with a question.
What is this?
Amazing Eniac,our minds are blown,simply amazing.....
Eniac,why does Sign of Zeta hate wood paneled walls?
ENIAC has calculated odds in favor to the fact that Sign of Zeta as a angry youth was not strong enough to punch holes in the wood paneled walls of his grandmothers trailer. He realized the only time he could feel as powerful as the Incredible Hulk was when he punched holes into plaster and sheet rock based walls,which fell easily to his feeble teen hands.
Well Eniac,this is all the time we have this evening,but we look forward to shooting more of those unanswered questions your way soon.
