Dating is so hard to do these days....

[MotherGunner]

http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/m4w/1007823954.html




To the woman that crapped in my car… (NE Portland)

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Reply to: pers-1007823954@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2009-01-25, 8:53PM PST



We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.

I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.

At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don’t feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said “First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me” was meant to be funny, not offensive.

I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat...

What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

I await your call,
Tad

P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early…Touché…   
 



Location: NE Portland
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1007823954


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[Michael Helgeson]

WTF lol,thats awesome 

[Arkhan]

lol.

best date follow up ever.

[Necromancer]

Disturbingly hilarious, especially the post script. 

[guyjin]

 

even if this is fake (which I'm pretty sure it is) this is awesome. 

[ceti alpha]

even if this is fake (which I'm pretty sure it is) this is awesome. 

lolmax!!! 

The "touché" is priceless. 

[rag-time4]

 

[Turbo D]

lmao! Wow, it kind of seems like a real story to me. For some reason, I want to believe that there is some weird sharting broad out there in Portland.

[Lord Thag]

That's as bad as the one where the girl gets out of the car (in winter in the snow) to pee, sits on the back bumper, and promptly gets frozen to said bumper with pants down. No amount of moving and pulling works, so the guy has to take a leak on HER to get her off 

They were married a year later. True story.

Of course, I never head of someone dropping a dookie bomb in their shorts on the first date. That's ... bizarre