My friends regularly discuss topics of which I have no interest (i.e. - their children), yet I can politely smile and nod just like they do when I bring up something about which they could give a tin shit
Then why do you feel the need to even reply in this thread? I certainly would not call your response "politely smiling and nodding". That, my friend, is call hypocrisy. Furthermore from the way you described Aven, you clearly misunderstood every bit of it's motives and reason for existence. Don't take it from me, take it from the site itself, (again, did you even bother to read it for more than 5 minutes? I am beginning you didn't even bother to fully read my previous statements, sorry if it's too long to bother with something you don't "give a tin shit" about. If you are going to be judgmental about something you don't even care to take the time and research, then please just "politely smile and nod"):
I'm so glad I found this community. People who have sex are so (annoying/stupid/wrong/evil), aren't they?
Annoying
Living in a society where everyone is assumed to be sexual and where the media, especially soaps and advertising, portray everyone as sexual and constantly tempted by sex, you might justifiably feel marginalized and ignored. You might find it deeply frustrating that the people around you can't conceive of your reality, that people are constantly assuming you have a sexuality. It's understandable that you might want to vent these frustrations by ranting about how much sexual people annoy you. This may not be the most reasonable way to react.
If people are inconsiderate to you because they don't understand your sexuality, then try explaining it to them. As your friends realize the existence of asexuals, perhaps they'll start to be more considerate toward you and those like you. The more people out there who know that they're friends of an asexual, the more visibility we'll have. Eventually we might even be represented in the media.
If you tell someone you're asexual and they still continue to ignore you and assume you're sexual, then you can rant!
Stupid
People who have sex aren't any more or less stupid than anyone else.
Sexuality itself can seem like a somewhat awkward and arbitrary activity, and it may be confusing that sexual people get so worked up over it. It's important to be as accepting of sexual people as you want them to be of you.
Wrong/Evil
There is nothing wrong or evil about sex and people who have sex. Sex is a beautiful pleasurable thing for those consenting adults who enjoy it. If you're looking for asexual people who'll be anti-sexual with you, you'll probably be disappointed. Being asexual doesn't mean you hate sex, it just means that you're not driven to have it. If you grew up asexual in a sexual world you might hold some resentment about sex but, as an asexual, it's just as likely that you wouldn't think about it at all.
The reasoning given on the AVEN site that coming out is a way to protect yourself from all the sex obsessed people in the world is self-serving, puerile, and no less bigoted than they claim the 'normal' people to be.
Uhhh where is said reasoning, could you please line me to where this is even suggested. Because I sure as heck can't find it...anywhere. This very "reasoning" is frowned upon by Aven, so I don't see where you are getting it from. In fact I will say this for probably the 4th time by now. Most are generally just curious and/or trying to better understand themselves and the people around them. I don't know what you are basing your stance on other than possibly biased generalizations you have made from spending 5 minutes on the site.
In fact, did you know that Richard Milhouse Nixon was the first US President whose name contains all the letters from the word "criminal" and William Jefferson Clinton is the 2nd? It's a completely useless fact but
interesting nonetheless. Notice the key word there. Besides, how can you say knowledge of asexuality is completely useless? How can you possibly know or even begin to consider every possible situation and scenario for every person? I can think of 1000s of things that are more "useless" to know. I can, however think of reasons why asexuality IS useful knowledge:
The pursuit of knowledge - Be it curiosity, science, whatever the subject of asexuality is very interesting to many. Heck, if we study it further it might provide us with useful knowledge about human behavior, psychology, or any other number of useful things. How would we ever know if we choose to ignore it? What harm is there in documenting/observing/relating it to others?
Understanding - If people understand and accept that humans can be asexual, there won't be conflict with family, friends, or peers when it comes to subjects of sex, romance and relationships. Imagine someone getting married and their spouse is completely disinterested in sex, if they know that they are asexual, then there are no problems. Otherwise you can imagine the conflicts that would ensue.
Are asexuals persecuted like homosexuals? No, and in fact it's not really fair to compare the two "causes", as they have different problems, different motives, and different hurdles to overcome. No ones trying to downplay the persecution, issues, and controversy that surrounds homosexuals. I can think of few who do compare it to the problems homosexuals deal with daily, unless you are asexual and attracted to the same sex in which case you still deal with the issues of homosexuality. (yes there is a distinction between romance and sex, you can be a bi, gay, straight or just plain aromantic asexual) If anything, most asexuals just want to promote awareness, and nothing more. Is there something so wrong with that? If so please enlighten me.
They also claim that coming out is to help increase asexual people's acceptance by society, which is almost humorous in light of the fact that few people seem to even care and they're not actively persecuted anyway (as noted by Zeta).
Again you misunderstand, by "acceptance" we simply mean acknowledging it exists. Suppose in high school your friends are distraught that you have never had a girlfriend/boyfriend. So they decide to "hook you up" with someone. You tell them politely and sincerely "Hey I am not interested" and at some point you say you an aromantic asexual, and explain what it means. Now suppose they do not believe you, or they do not believe that's possible. In fact they keep on trying to get you to go on a date. They have not
accepted that your preference is even possible nor are they respecting you, simply because they do not understand. Or suppose you are in a relationship, and upon informing your partner that you do not wish to have sex with them, they respond with disbelief, and continue to make advances, thinking you are playing "hard to get". Then when you tell them about asexuality and how you have no desire for sex, they won't
accept the fact that it is even possible. You see what I am getting at? It has nothing to do with prosecution and everything to do with understanding and knowledge. I fact one definition of acceptance is simply: "The mental attitude that something is believable and should be accepted as true" Given this, I do not see the humor in your conclusion.
Topic: Asexuality... (Read 1005 times)
