And the winner is...
vestcoat
As a bonus, the second place entry will receive a single free copy, though we're still deciding on a second place track. Some of these are hilarious, and some are just plain lame. Right now it's kind of a tossup between two entries in particular.
Vestcoat's entry wins because not only is it a nod to the original track used by Hudson back in the day, but it's very professional-sounding and is recorded in the three languages the game comes in.